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How to Pick Your First Sex Toy

a bunch of black sex toys in a pink bag

With sex toys becoming more commonplace and the different types of toys available becoming more diverse and inclusive, you might be considering buying your first sex toy. But where do you start? In this article, we’ll help break down the different styles of sex toys out there and help guide you in purchasing your first sex toy. 


First off, where to buy a toy. The days of dingy, poorly-lit stores off the side of the freeway is over. As the sex toy market comes out of the shadows, many stores have adopted a welcoming and comfortable environment. Stores focused on education and toy safety are leading the industry, including many online stores focusing on inclusivity, just like Wild Flower. Since shopping for a sex toy can be such an intimate and vulnerable thing, you want the place you purchase your toys to be supportive and non-intimidating. If the idea of going to a physical space feels overwhelming, shop from the comfort of your own home! 


Before you dive into all of the product categories, it’s best to consider what feels good in your body. There isn't a one size fits all, sex toys for beginners so it's vital to find something that work specifically for you. Think about the ways you enjoy touching yourself or being touched by others; what areas of the body do you like to be stimulated and how? This will help you decide what kind of toy is best for you. For example, if you’re a vulva / vagina owner and love how oral feels, an air-pressure or suction vibes might be right for you. If you’re a penis owner who enjoys prostate stimulation, a vibrating butt plug would be a great first time toy. If you’re finding it difficult to decide on one types of toy, consider a multi-functional vibrator or one made for every body like the Wild Flower Enby. 


At this point, it’s time to start browsing! Take your time, looking through different products that catch your attention and doing extra research when needed. Take your time; this is not a process you have to rush! Some basic categories to consider could be:


-Internal toys and vibrators like dildos, thrusting toys, and vibrating dildos that can be used vaginally for stimulate the g-spot or sometimes anally. 

-External toys that can be used on the vulva and clitoris, including smaller options like bullet vibrators and larger, powerful wands styles. 

-Air pressure and suction toys designed to work externally to imitate the sensations of oral sex.

-Butt plugs and vibrators designed for anal play and/or to stimulate the prostate. 

-Rabbits and multi-functional toys designed to stimulate multiple erogenous zones at once. 

-Penis sleeves and strokers

-Couples and shareable toys that can be used for pleasuring both partners at once. This includes cock rings, easy to hold vibe, and wearable vibrators. 


Consider any features that are important to you as you shop for your new sex toy. Do you want it to be waterproof? Quiet? With a remote? Keep in mind that the more features your toy has, the higher the price tends to be. 


This is also a great time to consider the materials of your sex toy. Different materials have different qualities, and since sex toys are FDA regulated, it’s important to make sure that you’re buying a body-safe toy for your first sex toy purchase. Body-safe sex toy materials include:


  • Silicone
  • Stainless Steel
  • Aluminum
  • ABS Plastic
  • Borosilicate Glass


There are also toys made from softer materials like TPE or TPR, but since these are porous, they cannot be 100% disinfected between use. If you want a toy made of these materials, its best to use it solo or with a partner that you are fluid bonded with. 


Once you’ve made your decision about what your first sex toy should be, don’t forget the lube! Reducing friction makes sex and masturbation feel more pleasurable and areas like the butt are not self-lubricating, so you’ll need to add some extra lubrication before your play. Make sure your lube is compatible with your sex toy (a quick tip is to opt for water based or hybrid options with silicone toys as silicone lube can ruin a silicone toy). 


Now what just left is for you to enjoy your new sex toy purchase! Even if you decide you want to explore something different after your first experience, the more knowledge that you can gather about what you prefer (or don’t prefer), the better! Here are our go-to first time sex toy picks:


Wild Flower Enby 2

 Wild Flower Enby 2

The first toy designed to be used by any body, the Wild Flower Enby has been a hit with sex toy newbies for the last 4 years since its introduction. Designed to be rubbed against, tucked into a harness or underwear, or wrapped to make a penis sleeve, the Enby 2 is truly for everyone. 


Femme Funn Booster Bullet

Femme Funn Booster Bullet

A powerful bullet design that comes with its own discreet charging case, the Femme Funn Booster Bullet can be used all over the body to bring you pleasure,


Taffy Puller

 Taffy Puller

The Taffy Puller is an open-ended sleeve, great for solo masturbation sessions or as an assistive toy to oral sex. 


Magic Wand Mini

 Magic Wand Mini

The Magic Wand (previously known as the Hitachi Wand) is a sex toy classic and this smaller version acts as the perfect introduction to wand style toys for sex toy newbies. 


Cheeky Gems Plug Kit

 Cheeky Gems Plug Kit

If you’re new to booty play, the best place to start is with an anal plug kit that allows you to explore a few different sizes to find the perfect fit for you. 


Happy Rabbit Slimline

 Happy Rabbit Slimline

If a rabbit toy is calling your name, the Slimline is an ideal first time toy delivering dual stimulation without being too large. 

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