So during sex, I queef alot. I just got out of a long term relationship and I want to start dating / hooking up, but I’m nervous the person I’m going to hook up with is gonna laugh at me. How can I get it to stop?
Thanks for your question! Let’s delve into what a ‘queef’ actually is.
Queefing, or vaginal flatulence, is a sudden expulsion of air from the vagina. These pockets of air become trapped inside the ridges and folds of vaginal canal for many different reasons, usually to do with movement. This usually happens during sex, or a physical activity like yoga, but can also be completely random (yay!). Queefing is especially common during sexual activity due to toys, fingers, and pensis pushing air into the vaginal canal, combined with the vagina expanding due to arousal.
With the unfortunate medical name — ‘vaginal flatulence’, queefing often gets thought of as a fart. However this is not the case. Farts are gas from digestion being released from the anus. Your vagiana is an independent structure that has nothing to do with the digestion process.
There is nothing harmful about queefing, unless the air released has an odor. If so, this maybe a condition called colovaginal fistula, which is where the inside of the vaginal canal has a tear, exposing it to the colon. If you think this is the problem, see your doctor right away.
The thing about queefing is there is no cure, or special trick to stop yourself from doing it. Every person who has a vagina has or will experience a queef, whether it’s in the bedroom or at the gym. While your individual vaginal shape may cause you to be more prone to trapping air, rest assured it’s a normal, healthy bodily function. Anyone you might be sleeping with in the future should understand and respect that.
Since you are aware that this is a common thing to expect when you have sex, if it makes you more comfortable, you could have a quick conversation beforehand, to give your partners a heads up. This isn’t necessary however. The most common reaction will most likely be your partner will ignore the queef, too busy with the task at hand. A conversation before the action will be more for your own piece of mind.
Remember there is no need to feel bad or apologetic for your body’s natural functions. A little giggle of embarrassment may slip out, but don’t feel obligated to say you’re sorry for a queef. Sex is messy and bodies do embarrassing things sometimes, but it’s all part of the fun and intimacy. Don’t let it hold you back from getting yours!
I have been looking for a new sex toy to get my girlfriend. We are both new to sex toys and I am wondering what you would recommend. I purchased a vibrating cock ring a few months ago for us to incorporate into our sexual play, she is a huge fan, I have liked it, but I honestly don't like the feeling of something unnatural on me during sex. Would love your recommendation on something to change things up a little!
Thanks for your question! It’s great to hear that you’re open to exploring toys with your girlfriend and using them to enhance your sex life. Too often, sex toys can be mistaken as competition in the bedroom and that simply isn’t the case.
I do understand your dislike of the feeling of a cock ring - they’re not for everyone. I am curious about the size and type of cock ring you were using. Maybe the restrictive feeling could be alleviated with a slightly large size or maybe a ring that sits underneath the testicles and the shaft like the We-vibe Verge?
Cock rings aside, there are still many ways you can enjoy sex toys and further explore the vibration that your girlfriend liked. If your girlfriend has a vagina, there are wearable vibrators that she can wear during sex instead of you. The Dame Eva sits snug between the folds of the labia to stimulate the clit.. The We-vibe Sync is worn vaginally, allowing for penetration as well as internal and external stimulation.
Another great idea would be to incorporate some kind of bullet toy you both could share. Bullets are typically known for clit stimulation however vibrations to the perineum (the space between the testicles and the anus), the testicles and the penis can feel amazing also. The Dame Fin is a personal favorite of mine. With it’s optional tether, the Fin stays easily attached to your hand, allowing you to explore your partner’s body with ease. The We-vibe tango is another great bullet packed with power and is whisper quiet. If you’re wanting to get even more adventurous, the Pico Bong transformer is a diverse toy that can be bent, twisted, or posed into any position.
I hope that helps! Keep exploring and having fun!
My partner and I see each other only every two weeks for a few days. After those few days I always have a UTI ! Is there any things to prevent it ? (I know about cleaning, peeing after sex and drinking a lot of water) but still..
Also, we do mix anal and vaginal, should we focus on only one when we have sex ? Would it help to prevent it? I wish my body could get used to the virus or reinforce itself against it.
I think that I read once about an antibiotic pill that prevents the infection after sex but I am not sure as it is not good to take antibiotics so often.
Thank you for your time.
Thanks for your question Manon! UTIs are NO FUN but something many of us have had to deal with at one time for another. Sadly, sex is a common cause of urinary tract infections. People with vaginas are 10 times more likely to experience UTIs compared to people with penises. This is because of the urethra being shorter, allowing bacteria to get into the bladder easier. Like you mentioned, there are some simple ways to prevent UTIs like peeing after sex, drinking a good amount of water, wiping front to back when using the restroom, and cleaning the vulva and anus area well. But since you’re already taking these precautions, let’s delve a little deeper into what could be causing this unwelcome issue.
If you are sensitive to UTIs, it can be a good idea for you and your partner to take a quick shower to clean any unwanted bacteria away before you engage in sex. I’m not sure what kind of birth control you’re using, but using a diaphragm can block the urethra, allowing urine to become trapped in the bladder which can lead to infection. Spermicide on condoms and in lubricants have also been linked to UTIs so try to avoid them.
Mention that you see one another for a few days every couple weeks. Are you having a lot of back to back sex, like sex marathons? That can be an issue for sensitive vaginas, so try to pace yourself. Rough and intense penetration can also cause damage to the bladder, making it more susceptible to infections.
You mentioned that you and your partner enjoy both vaginal penetration as well as anal. Do not mix anal and vaginal penetration without cleaning in between or using a barrier that you change between orifices. The bacteria found in your anus can easily cause UTIs as well as yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. There’s no way your vagina or vulva will be able to get used to the bacteria found within your anus and fecal matter. Oral sex can also be responsible for UTIs. The bacteria in your partner’s mouth can lead to an infection, especially if your partner smokes. Have your partner brush their teeth, using mouthwash and avoid smoking before any playtime.
It would be a good idea to visit a doctor to make sure you don’t have a lingering case of cystitis which may be residing in the kidneys, only to show up every time you have sex. Though you can treat UTIs using at home and over the counter methods, a deeper infection will need antibiotics. Talk to your doctor about the supplement D-Mannose and if it would be helpful given your addition medical history. D-Mannose is a kind of sugar related to glucose and it works by preventing certain kinds of harmful bacteria from sticking to the walls of the urinary tract. This and a cranberry extract supplement have proven very effective for people prone to UTIs help manage infections.
I hope that helps!